The Purpose of This Statement
Let’s start off by saying that this is solely a statement to bring light to the problem and disability that is depression. This is in no way to speak on anything that I myself have not encountered and will only be a firsthand statement on depression and suicidal ideation as a disability, in the terms of what society considers to be a ‘high-functioning’ individual. Or, at the very least, a functioning individual that can live a life.
Who Am I?
I am Stefan, more recently better known as Waffles, from WafflesMapleSyrup. I am also a writer for the amazing non-profit helping with suicide awareness, Jasper’s Game Day. I grew up with what most people would call a ‘rough past’ in the state of Alabama. I spent four years in the military, as a nuclear engineer, in what again many have referred to as ‘not ideal situations’. I now live as a Game Master (GM) for tabletop roleplaying games (TTRPGs) like DnD and Pathfinder online while furthering my career in nuclear engineering. All of this is to give a background as to what I’ve dealt with, still deal with, but in no way to give any requirements or exceptions to what depression is or is not.
What Brings Me Here?
In the military, I dealt with situations that were not the best for my mind or well-being. There was a rough time in the middle of everything in which suicidal thoughts entered my mind. I ended up admitting myself to a US Navy ward in order to protect myself. To this day, I fight against depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. All of this, to me, has shown that those who do not ‘see’ depression or anxiety-causing true harm to someone’s life, do not believe it exists. I am here to speak out against that.
The Numbers Behind Depression
Depression is considered a ‘common’ mental disorder by the World Health Organization (WHO). Depression at its best affects daily life causing poor work and social functions and at its worst leads to suicide. Depression is often looked down upon because of the stigma behind mental health, but the numbers do not lie:
- 1/15 people show some symptoms of depression throughout their life.
- Close to 800,000 people die from suicide each year.
- Depression is the leading cause of disability in the world.
- 75% of people with mental disorders go untreated, likely due to poverty and stigma.
What is Depression?
That brings us to what depression is. Depression is all of these feelings that make you have a bad day:
- Irritability
- Fatigue
- Changes in sleep (too much or not enough)
- Imposter Syndrome (or feelings of worthlessness)
- Guilt
- Difficulty Concentrating
- Loss of Interest
- Zero Pleasure
- Headaches
- Suicidal Ideation or Thoughts
Depression is these feelings that do not go away on their own. A prolonged amount of time dealing with these feelings, that likely, will only go away with treatment, whether that be therapy or medication.
Sadness Is Not Depression
Sadness and depressed moods, with a quick return to a normal mood – happens, and is not depression. Grief over the death of a loved one, with a return to normal life and moods, is not depression. This is in no way to doubt what someone may be feeling, but in the end, temporary moods that fade away without treatment are not depression. Don’t get me wrong, these feelings are valid, they need to be sought out, felt, and held close- but they are not depression.
How This Boils Down
Now, let’s think about addiction and disabilities for a second. People with chronic pain (also something I deal with), are able to go to work and work through that pain. People that have a caffeine addiction (again, I’ll raise my hand), are able to grab a coffee or energy drink to subvert that headache, and do their job or live their life. Would it be right to tell those people they do not need caffeine or are not hurting? This all sets a very important precedent for what I want to talk about.
High-Functioning Depression
Depression itself is no more than a feeling, a sickness, an addiction, or as commonly called in the medical field, a disability. Therefore, it should be very easy to say that depression can be:
- Hidden, like an addiction
- Worked through, like a sickness.
- Pushed down, like a feeling.
- Or even “grown accustomed to”, like a disability.
This in no way makes that depression any less. High-functioning depression is what many people go through as they think about how they have to take that pill to feel good. High-functioning depression is knowing that if your therapist cancels, your next week will be one of the worst of your life. High-functioning depression is knowing that when that next shoe drops in your life, the scales that balance that life will not only tip over but implode and take weeks to rebuild.
Common Misconceptions About Depression
The world works in odd ways and the perception of feelings is no different. If your neighbor is smiling, they are probably happy. If your co-worker is crying, they are likely sad. The problem with this is that depression, while not easily overcome, can be lived with. There are many ways that one can ‘attempt’ to live a normal life while waiting for that next shoe to drop:
- Medication
- Therapy
- Knowing Triggers
- Keeping a Support System
- Cultivating Life to Deal
The harsh reality of the ways depression is dealt with is that it looks like the person with depression is completely fine. Whether on medication, controlling their triggers, or leaning on a support system, the person dealing with depression seems to the perception of others to be completely fine.
Depression Is Always There Though
But, even with medication, therapy, and a life cultivated to help their depression, it never leaves. Suicidal Ideation stays at the back of the mind. Irritation just waits for that final straw to be placed. The constant dull headache and occasional migraines, even if absent, are worried about. Concentration, interest, guilt, and imposter syndrome never fully fade, much like the want for the next caffeinated beverage. The constant search
Even a smile on someone’s face does not tell the story of the feelings they contend with every day. The missed sleep from constant thoughts, or waking up a little late because of fatigue. So, don’t mistake somebody’s success in life or smile on their face, for a life without depression, especially if that person claims depression. Take the time to listen and speak to them. There are many ways to help.
How Can You Help?
There are plenty of ways to help out somebody that continues to deal with depression, but the most important way is to not doubt them. Their feelings are valid, no matter what someone’s perception of them is, and your ability to be there for them is highly important. Remember when dealing with depression, especially in the high-functioning category, the most important part is what that person is feeling and dealing with. It takes a lot for someone with depression to even express how they feel because if they are high-functioning it is likely because they want to be able to ‘look’ and ‘feel’ normal. So, take some time and reach out to those people that explain their depression, vent, and are looking for a support system. Because, in the end, one kind word could make the difference for that person.
Suicide Affects Us All
Everyone is affected by suicide, and if you haven’t been directly affected by suicide, you have likely crossed paths with someone that has.
Remember, if you or someone you know are thinking about suicide, or you are worried about someone, you are never alone. There is always someone, somewhere, willing to speak with you.
Suicide Hotline: Call 800-273-8255 or text 741-741
Written by: Stefan Timmons of WafflesMapleSyrup
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